Tuesday, September 04, 2007

A Little Scare...

Dear Kate and Riley,
I've wanted to be better about writing and it turns out I think I'll have a lot more time in the coming weeks. Your baby brother has been growing well and I have to say I was getting pretty confident about the fact that he will get here safely. I had really begun to relax. My doctor (the one that delivered you) has been so wonderful about checking on him and I had started going to the hospital twice a week for extra testing. The testing was going so well I wondered if it was even something that I needed to do but I did appreciate the reassurance.

Well last week, along with starting back to work and being really busy, I went in for my appointment at the hospital and your brother's amniotic fluid was really low. I can't tell you how it felt to sit in that room and wonder if I was going to have to bury another child. I knew I wasn't possibly strong enough for that. But at the same time, I felt a peace that things were going to be ok. I was at the hospital, we were on a monitor, I could see his little heart beating away, strong as ever. I was admitted to antepartum in the hopes that giving me a bunch of fluid through an IV would help the baby's fluid go up. My doctor told me to be prepared to possibly have to stay in the hospital the rest of the pregnancy (6 weeks, yikes!). I was upset but also knew that they were being very careful. The doctor said she could not send me home again without a baby in my arms. I am so glad that she is taking such good care of us.

The hospital was no fun. It was a little difficult to be back there, a lot of sad memories, it was boring and I wanted to go back to not being worried. After two days the perinatologist came and measured the baby's fluid again and it had gone back up to a normal level. He said he felt good about letting me go home but not letting me go back to work. So, here we are back at home, drinking 4 liters of water a day, and resting a lot.

I got to see your brother a lot on ultrasounds. I think he will look like you. He is a lot bigger than you now, he's passed you up by almost 7 weeks. I'm starting to feel like I have been pregnant forever. As long as your brother keeps doing well on the tests (twice a week again), he will stay inside but the doctor said he is big enough that if he does need to come out he can. That makes me feel good. I really think he's going to get here safely. I think that he is lucky to have his sisters watching over him. I really felt your presence in the hospital, like you were there watching over us. I know you will get to be there when he is born and I'm excited for that spiritual moment when all of our family will be together at one time. Watch over us and tell your brother to stay put and to keep kicking me a lot so I know he's ok.