Happy 5th Birthday

Dear Kate and Riley,
How have five years passed? How has it been so long and yet gone so fast? This year we had to remember your birthday a little early because Dad was going to be out of town on your actual birthday. We went to the cemetery on Saturday with the boys. I had to laugh a little at the crazy scene we were. Thankfully there was no one else around because they probably would have been a little put off since your brothers seem to think it was a park and not a cemetery. But I was happy to have them to chase around and to see how much our lives have changed in five years time.

Zach tried hard this year to understand. It's hard to understand that he has sisters but that they are in heaven and not here. He asked some real, serious questions and I could tell it was on his mind because he asked me again the next day what his sisters names were and if you would come back to life like Jesus. I told him, yes that you, too would be resurrected but not for a while. I told him we'd all be together again some day. I look forward to that day when we are all together.

I wonder often what it would be like to have you here. You would be so big and ready to start kindergarten next year. That seems so strange. I do feel those pangs of sadness sometimes when no one wants to watch Disney princess movies with me or sing songs from musicals. I know there are things I'm missing out on not having you here. But I just have to remember that somehow in all of this there is a plan and a purpose, whether I understand it or not. I am so thankful for the reminder you are to me of the promise of eternal families. You keep me grounded and in check. You help me to appreciate so much more immensely the atonement that was made for us, for our family to be able to be whole again.

Loving you and missing you always.

Love,
Mom